A strange thought crossed my mind while everybody was going ga-ga over the royal wedding of Prince Wiliam and Kate Middleton.
The fact that there was, and still is, anything left of the Monarchy in England makes me actually more proud to be an American than ever. However, the overt classism of the Royals actually puts our Richers in context as the biggest phony-assed pretenders of all.

For the Brits – you have to openly bow and scrape in their presence, and although no Billionaire would dare suggest such a thing to the lowest rung of our society – they too would have to kiss Queen Elizabeth’s royal ass.

That’s right Donald Trump, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Paris Hilton and the Koch brothers – yeah – you’re nouveau riche and would not be able to even look the Royals in the eyes or shake their hands. To them – you’re all just commoners.

Pass The Grey Poupon?

To recap: Americans back in the 18th Century literally stole the continent from the most powerful country on the planet and did so under the pretense of moving forward the rights of the individual for the first time in history. Some of it legend and some of it fact, but the reality is there had never been a political philosophy devoted to the rights of the common individual.

As time has gone on, our country has morphed into THE COUNTRY and we have almost forgotten where the hell we were and who we are. Somehow it’s now fashionable to crap on the common man; in fact, many Americans revel in the possibility.

In the 21st Century almost none of that original philosophy that founded the country remains. Wealthy people who say they want to take the country back for the common people call themselves the Tea Party Movement, Wealthier people call themselves the Grand Old Party and fight for the rights of corporations and wealthier people and somehow make the case they too are for the common American.

So, what of the commoners – they spend their days fighting for the rights of the wealthy and the wealthier in the hopes that one day they too will be wealthy and one day will too be able to crap on the common man.

Well, consider this, just like some poor working middle class slob hopes that he or she can become millionaires and piss on the rest of us – that same average American secretly hopes and wishes they are one day a prince or princess.

According to the Huffington Post – approximately 23 million Americans rose to get a peep of Prince William and Kate Middleton tying the knot.
Between the hours of 6 a.m. to 7:15 a.m, Nielsen said more than 22 million viewers over multiple networks were glued to their TV’s before work.

Viewership on the web was equally as lofty. ABCNews.com said its online traffic Friday was its highest since the 2008 presidential election. And, E! Online said its 23.6 million page views on Friday was its most ever. The wedding was telecast on ABC, CBS, NBC, Telemundo, Univision, BBC America, CNN, E! Entertainment, Fox News Channel, MSNBC and TLC. Some theorize that Americans go for the royals because we don’t have any of our own – however, I think it’s even worse.

For the same reason, the average American at $28,000 a year, follow the GOP’s wealthy around like puppies when they have no healthcare, no money, not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.
Pathetically, they really want to be them and secretly hope some of that wealth will just rub off if they get close enough.
Think I’m way off base?

A Facebook user has already created a “Pippa Middleton’s Arse Appreciation Society Fan Page,” – I say: never has so much been made over so little. But, and the pun is completely intended, that’s consistent with the American obsession with the epitome of white aristocracy – the royals.

With about 3,000 likes on the page to date and now post Royal Wedding, I feel more American than ever before. I’m poor and answer to no monarch, but at least I can feel democratically wealthy as only an American can.

So in closing, for all of you who run around openly worshipping the wealthy, log onto Facebook and literally kiss Pippa’s near royal, microscopic, white arse. You may be “blinged–out,” or “nicey and icy,” but you’ll never truly be rich.

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Masta Talka

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