Half (Black) LIke Me

We periodically point out the most obvious person in the news who exhibits the sense of self-loathing that we lovingly call "tomming." By definition an Uncle Tom is:  a black who is overeager to win the approval of whites (as by obsequious behavior or uncritical acceptance of white values and goals) - meanspirited? Maybe, but we think of it as our brand of tough love.

V. Ain’t For “Victory” When You’re Tomming

A Moment of Tom-Foolery

For this month’s moment of Tom-Foolery we took our traveling freak show to California and examined the professional basketball circus called the Los Angeles Clippers.

Evidently when it came to Clippers’ owner Donald Sterling and the exotic arm candy he sported courtside – V. Stiviano – it was just a 21st Century re-enactment of every slave master’s fantasy since Europeans began banging their chattel.

Okay, we know those two crazy kids never got together sexually for the whole decade they were “friends,” just ask ‘em.

But when a tape of a private conversation between the exotic Stiviano and her 80-year-old Svengali Donald Sterling emerged, we found out a lot about the 31-year-old.

From the TMZ.com leaked tape, we learned she isn’t just some gold-digging bimbo at the beckoned call of a billionaire. Nope – V. is half-Black, half-Mexican, but a full time Tom.


magicandvstiviano Because when she’s not being chastised by Sterling for thoughtless posing for Instagram shots with African-American celebrities like Magic Johnson and Matt Kemp, she’s the wrinkled codger’s cuddle monkey; despite his unending contempt for minorities of every ilk, chiefly her peeps – the Blacks.

On the tape, we hear Sterling tell Stiviano to privately love Black people, but for the all things holy stop cavorting with those darkies in public.

The mysterious V. mockingly prays her skin color could change and also, hopefully facetiously, asks for Sterling’s approval to post pictures with Kemp, who is bi-racial, only to be rejected.

v.stivianomattkemp“But I thought Matt Kemp is mixed, and he was OK, just like me…He’s lighter and whiter than me,” Stiviano pleaded.

As it turns out, the taped taunts of a tramp, may have little to do with the appearance of Stiviano’s elusive conscience, but instead may be the bi-product of her legal battle to keep her booty – (i.e. – real estate, cars and cash.)

Isn’t That Special

In addition, the game V. has been running at least 4-years, and possibly longer, falls into the high priced of making as much money as possible without the dignity to care who it’s made. This type of person is able to easily look past the ways her best friend oppressed low-income people of all races in pursuit of the almighty dollar.

Toms like Stivianio, who Sterling characterized as half African-American and Mexican, but who he said was perceived as a delicate white or Latina girl, made the mistake many Tom’s make when they want to believe their oppressor is allowing them into the inner circle because they are special.

Such backwards logic seems to allow the Tom to move effortlessly among bigots, while not dealing with the reality that their “bestie” is a disgusting racist who hates everyone who looks like her. I guess being deemed “one of the good ones” obviously provides an additional charge.

It’s a thought process that takes you back to that of the house negro versus the field negro.

A place where direct interaction in the day to day lives of the slave master certainly made many of those house servants feel almost superior to their relatives and fellow slaves working the fields, despite the fact they too were working for free.

So for V. a woman who has lived under so many aliases, the pretend role of super assistant to a billionaire must have been as lucrative as it was gratifying.

So, when did the tomming start?

Was it when she appeared court-side with the very married Mr. Sterling?

Was it when she allegedly took up lodgings in a $1.8 million condo?

When she allegedly accepted a quarter of a million dollars in mad money, a Ferrari, two Bentleys and a Range Rover from her “friend”?

Or was it when she was being Sterling’s personal “silly rabbit?”

They’re So Cute At That Age

Although no one knows for sure, we can conservatively trace V.’s tour de force of self-loathing to 2010 when she became head of the Sterling foundation, as per a recent lawsuit. Although a photo that has surfaced suggests the “belly-warming” may have began much earlier.


Perhaps the tricks began somewhere around when V. celebrated her 21st born day with her billionaire sugar daddy and friends – who knows?

According to previously published reports, “ Stiviano” was born Maria V. Perez and has tried on new monikers like Maria Valdez, Vanessa Perez and Monica Gallegos before settling on her current name because she had not “yet been fully accepted because of my race.”

Sterling’s wife alleges in her lawsuit, which seeks to recover: jewelry, the four cars and a nearly $2 million condo, that V. happened into the life of the Donald in 2010 during the Super Bowl in Miami.

Portrayed as a shady con-artist and woman of questionable virtue in Mrs. Sterling’s lawsuit, V. counters that was Mr. Sterling’s “confidante, right arm hand-man, silly rabbit, archivists and everything” but never a lover.
Although she is someone she admits Sterling is in love with, despite being bi-racial, Stiviano insists her “honey” is not a racist, but someone who sometimes says racist things.


Such defensive comments are more reprehensible coming from a minority woman who seemed to forget her role. The line of defense offered by Stiviano is usually reserved for friends and family members who usually end their defense with – “Oh, that’s just Donald – you know how he is.”
Ironically this potential pro never seemed to have a problem with racist things Sterling said or did, until her little space in Shangri-La was threatened.

In April her home and lifestyle were threatened by Mrs. Sterling and then the secret tapes from her buddy magically appeared and the fun has not stopped since.


If you have problems believing that Stiviano missed who leaked the tapes she recorded, you’ll be flabbergasted that she somehow also missed all of the racist doings of the non-racist Sterling.

In 2009 it appears he was forced to pay a record $2.7 million in damages to Black, Latino and Korean tenants from his Los Angeles housing complexes as a part of an earlier housing discrimination lawsuit.

Since the release of V.’s tapes, Sterling has been the source of a protest by the NBA basketball team he owns. He is also not defended by the likes of longtime friend and sports legend Tommy Lasorda or Elgin Baylor, who sued that ass for wrongful termination also in 2009.

It would seemingly be impossible for V. to defend Donald Sterling and his obvious aversion for non-whites like her, unless of course she had some kind of vested interest.

She could also be a resident of a small hamlet along the river De-Nial. It’s obviously been the site of so many settlements for Toms over the years.
In fact, despite Sterling’s problems with people of color, all three members of this triangle had another thing in common, no problem with the color of money.

Pursuit of the all mighty dollar has allowed both V. and Rochelle Sterling to somehow tolerate Donald Sterling’s shenanigans and keep coming back for more.

Watching a racist work day in and day out must be grueling to the tune of a quarter of a million dollars. However, turning a blind eye to said acts only to then go home with him for drinks and tricks just isn’t acceptable, especially when those people happen to look like you. You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.

In the end, as Sterling’s grasp on the Clippers slips away and V. Stiviano’s bank accounts dry out it’s hard to know what she’ll miss the most.


The bottomless pit of cash, the exclusive tour into the world of the 1 percent rarely seen by Blacks or Mexicans, or the way she had to curl up at the end of the bed and keep Sterling’s tootsies warm – the world may never know.

However, all the big-assed visors in the world can’t one fact, by allowing Donald Sterling to degrade minorities for so many years, it’s obvious you were only looking out for number one and certainly no one darker than Matt Kemp.

So get used to the service entrance, because the gravy train has certainly come to a grinding halt.

You boot licking, self-loathing, husband stealing – Tom!


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Masta Talka

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