Each month we at Boom Bap Radio will bestow the award of “The Douchey McDouche Bag” award on the biggest dickheads in the news. This category is not limited to politicians or entertainers or even athletes – there’s room for everyone on this bench.
However, each month one person stands out as the absolute winner of our coveted prize.
The award is based on the name I gave a menial worker from a big box department store, who insisted that my item was no longer in stock without looking. This douche actually made me order the item online and had a whole five minute explanation of why the product was not available days after Christmas. Evidently it was shipped back to some remote warehouse – over the hills and far, far away.
Imagine my surprise when about an hour later –while walking to the other end of the store I found piles of my item, neatly stacked and very much available.
So this one goes out to that collared shirt wonder, who obviously knew nothing, but before he knew a whole friggin’ lot –Douche Bag!! Hey dickwad - this award goes out to you – You Douche!!!
The January 2017 Douchey McDouche Bag Award
When 2017 reared its ugly head, the nation had gained a new leader, but for the first time in a long time, there was this undeniable feeling of pending doom that exceeded just watching your candidate lose.
With group violence and uplifting chants like “Lock her Up,” those supporting Citizen Donald J. Trump, cheered what was not just a right turn away from liberal principles of the previous President, but instead an all- out assault on the poor and the less fortunate.
Sure many of Trump’s supporters were indeed among the poor and less fortunate and routinely vote against their own interests, but this time they were going to do so in a more aggressive fashion, while shirtless and yelling in the streets.
With a platform that included ending federal healthcare while cutting safety net programs like Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare and Social Security, Trump’s election was immediately recognized as the first time in memory that the world had come to a screeching halt for the 99 percent.
That guy, Mr. Man, Mr. Charlie, the head of the corporation, the robber baron, he was now the Chief Executive Officer of the United States of America.
To make matters worse, Trump, a shady business man on the outside, seemed to harbor autocratic and openly white supremacist tendencies that were never fully revealed in the past.
Emboldened by fanatics and zealots, it became clear early on that Trump was not just some politician carving out his place in history, but instead an invading force that was hell bent on first undoing whatever had been done for the last eight years, but most importantly to begin deconstructing every democratic institution that was put in place over the last 70-years.
Trump’s vision of American leadership would make him a monarch, emperor or supreme leader, all enroute to “Making America Great Again.”
The combination of his beer hall putsch-esc gatherings during the late Fall of 2015 and all throughout 2016, seemed to indicate that this political leader was not just a right-winger or one who was openly supported by racists and elitists, but something far worse – a friggin’ douche bag for the ages.
For our purposes, this douche bag has been snatching up our coveted monthly prize with more frequency than he grabbed new wives and pussies, so he isn’t only on our radar, he is our frigging radar.
As it turned out Douchey Donald wasn’t just satisfied with being President, so he cracked open “Mein Kampf” and begin trying to be more than a politician. He wanted to be “the greatest whoever did it,” a fuhrer, an un-impeachable leader of his own form of plutocracy – a douche bag!
So strap on your jack-boots and get to goose-stepping, it’s the January 2017 Douchey McDouche Bag Award.
The following are excerpts and concepts set forth in Mein Kampf and The Donald’s lineage has nothing to do with it.
- Influence the masses by aiming first at the least intelligent
When Trump began his improbable rise to the U.S. presidency, he aimed at the so called – “baskets of deplorables” who have always been a part of the conservative base, but had rarely been placed in the forefront of it as its mantel piece.
Trump and his not so veiled xenophobic message of “Making America Great Again,” rolled into dyed-in-the-wool Red states in the Bible belt and middle America, where such thoughts are more commonplace and held rally after rally extoling, not a deft plan of how to bring factory level American jobs back to deprived areas, but instead red meat of hate and division that was obvious and intentional.
He called all Mexicans rapists and trumpeted building a wall on America’s southwest border that would be paid for by Mexico.
He later ratcheted up his hate parade to include the Muslims, who he said should be banned from entering the country because they may embrace “radical Islam,” and in order to continue building his base, the Orange Douche Bag threw in a dash of good old inner-city hate by focusing Chi-town, which had a historically bad 2016 and of course is the home of the out-going President.
The hooting and hollering crowds at Trump rallies, initially maligned as extremists by their fellow Conservatives, soon took the lead as their candidate plucked off established GOP politician after GOP politician.
Openly called “deplorable” and “stupid” by the left and held at arm’s length by fellow Conservatives, Trump’s supporters seemed to revel in their view as hateful Neanderthals and channeled their angst as a new alt right patriotism that had always been present, but rarely been celebrated.
It is actually wrong to label all or even most of Trump supporters as un-intelligent or even not as educated as those who supported Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton or her chief rival, Sen. Bernie Sanders. However, the same group cultivated the Tea Party resistance during Obama’s ascendance to the presidency and jeered the former Constitutional law professor as an elitist and too educated.
All of this begins before the first ballot is cast in the election, but gave the whole of the Republican party a choice to either reject Trump’s hateful message and their supporters or hold their collective noses and support The Donald.
The temptation of regaining the White House with a Conservative Congress proved to be too alluring and “responsible Republicans” never surfaced and The Donald became Mein Trump.
The Trump movement then caught fire, like so many books being burned in the middle of German street and by election time group thought took over. The stage was set for what has been described by comedian Bill Maher as a “slow moving coup.”
2. If You Tell Them A Lie, Don’t Tell Them a Little One, Tell them a Big One
The funny thing is when you tell lies all the time, your followers tend to believe you more than if you tell the truth most of the time.
Hitler first put this practice to use during his rise to power in the 1930’s.
Although he was a corporal in the German army in World War I and knew the German economy was ruined by the 1919 Treaty at Versailles, the rising politician knew it was easier to blame a tangible group he hated – the Jews.
Because Germany had a large Jewish population and many of those Germans had successful shops, the combination of poverty and hate gave the future Fuhrer all of the power he needed and support from those willing to make his lie a reality.
Soon Jewish owned shop windows were being smashed in public to the joy of onlookers and no one would stop the riots. Legislation was later created to outlaw Jewish citizens and we know how this all ended, with another World War and the systematic death of those he told the public to hate.
“In the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie,” the then imprisoned Hitler wrote.
Since the election of President Trump, there have actually been so many lies and half-truths, that it would be virtually impossible to count them all.
An obvious fan of totalitarian leaders of today, it would be virtually impossible to make the case that Trump did not study the Hitler playbook.
During his rise, he vilified groups of people who were present, but off the radar.
The lie that propelled him to the presidency was the building of his “big, beautiful wall” on the country’s southwest border.
Trump not only told voters over and over again that he would keep immigrants from entering the country, but also got them to believe he would do so by building a wall that would forever divide America from Mexico.
The size of the lie grew to enormous when he vowed to not only put up the wall, but to make Mexico finance the building of a wall to allegedly keep out it’s fleeing residents.
Never mind that illegal immigration was down during the years he ran for office, or that joke during the Obama years that mused the American economy was so bad that no one even would want to immigrate to the United States, Trump married good old fashioned American xenophobia and hate with the chant of “build the wall” to a group of downtrodden and incorrigible folks and struck gold – what a douche!
The lie grew into a rallying cry at every campaign stop and despite the concept being rejected by most of his opponents and even Mexican Presidents past and present, Trump rode that lie and continued to feed “red meat” to his base.
As horrified opponents of this orange racist were soon to see, the scary people at the Trump rallies didn’t care how truthful or feasible building a wall was or how detrimental taking away their healthcare could be, they found someone who seemed to say what they wanted to hear and that was good enough to elect him President.
Trump took the hateful energy from his campaign stop and joined them with another totalitarian building block to Make America Great Again.
3. Undermine the Fate of the Masses and their Leaders
If we can give Trump any degree of credit, we would at least have to admit he was one busy dude during his campaign.
He was building a Populist narrative among his followers that was so openly counter culture that seemed to conjure up the everyman concepts embraced by Democratic Louisiana Governor and presidential candidate Huey P. Long, Jr., in 1935 while also reviving some of the separatist, white supremacist jargon that got another Democrat Alabama Governor, Dixiecrat/Independent George Wallace a presidential platform from 1964 – 1976.
Unlike Long and Wallace who were both shot in 1935 and 1972, respectively, Trump’s over the top “you can’t trust the establishment” message was appealed to right-wing voters, who had tired of Washington D.C. gridlock in Congress and that Damn Obama!
As it turned out, rebellion against the establishment was the mood of the day as Bernie Sanders’ supporters vocally fought not only Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, but also the fanatics on the GOP side, which more and more seemed to be marching in lock-step behind the former reality T.V. show star.
Trump had rolled through the entire field of GOP candidates with a mixture of his abhorrent political tactics and one-liners that undermined all of the traditional leaders.
Marco Rubio became “Little Marco Rubio.”
Jeb Bush became “Low Energy Jeb.”
Ted Cruz became “Lyin’ Ted Cruz” and at one point his wife’s looks and his father’s background were brought up in a smear campaign without any basis or points.
Other fringe members running against Trump became walking punchlines. Carly Fiorina’s looks were lampooned, Chris Christie was said to have known about closed lanes at the George Washington Bridge and Ben Carson’s tough Detroit upbringing was questioned and mocked.
This base approach to politics, initially horrified all candidates, who had been tied to some degree of decorum in the past, but for those following Trump it was funny, although disrespectful and inappropriate.
By not playing by any of the rules and making the race a Conservative version of “The Dozens,” candidate Trump was able to de-legitimize all of his opponents on the right without much proof or digging. By the time he got to “Crooked Hillary,” and Obama, whose origin he’d openly questioned for years, he was rolling and instead of good sense reigning him in his supporters were finally able to say things they had been wanting to hear and say for years.
By January, Trump, although a winner had thrown in the de-legitimization of the American voting process, which he said was rigged and re-opened the anti-climate change drivel that called for the country returning to fossil fuels.
Although he lost the majority vote, Trump was able to win in the Electoral College and became the spokesman for all of the “forgotten” White voters who blamed big government for their plight following the Great Recession of 2008.
Following in the footsteps of Hitler, Benito Mussolini in the 1930’s and other authoritarians, Trump swooped in and confirmed that everything was messed up in the government and his supporters could only trust him to fix everything.
When election day came in November of 2016, many of his supporters had grown disenchanted with government, so the push to his super skeptical and distrustful point of view only required a small nudge.
By the time President Elect Trump was ready to take the oath of office on Jan, 20, 2017 clamoring supporters were convinced electing lying, hateful, strongman candidate was no different or worse than electing any other candidate.
One of the most important tenants that wins the hearts and minds of the disenfranchised and helps make those folks excited to have their country run by an all-encompassing leader is the concept of “scapegoating.”
Hitler blamed the Jews, but for Trump, who did not have a war to point to lean on, he had to use the unrest in the Middle East as well as unresolved anger from terroristic attacks from more than a decade ago to craft his scapegoat.
Once you’ve defined the group you expect the populous to hate, you have to decide what action should be taken to make your base feel safe and make you into a hero to most.
Finally able to openly bang the drum against so called “radical Islam,” Trump focused in on anger against ongoing terrorist actions around the world, the continuing battle against ISIS militants as well as obvious hate for a non-Christian based religion and he had his bogeymen.
Afterall, they do set off the gold standard of xenophobia.
Muslims often look different than WASPs, have a different point of view on the creator, are amazingly devout and dress in garb that is exotic and different than the norm. These points are usually seized upon by racists and separatists whenever there is a search for someone to blame or hate.
It wasn’t exactly difficult, with domestic attacks occurring here and in England and France in the name of Islam. With regular terror attacks, getting haters to take up against an entire religious dogma would not be too difficult.
That’s why days after his swearing-in Trump took to the executive orders he allegedly hated and penned his Muslim travel ban, which made it illegal for anyone from Iran, Iraq, Syria, Sudan, Libya, Yemen and Somalia to travel to the United States for 120 days.
However, the move, a campaign promise, was so haphazardly thrown together, that when first enacted it stranded American citizens from those countries in American airports for days. Trump said the half-baked law was necessary to protect America and passing it was within his ability as President.
The Muslim travel ban was later the point of countless protests across the country and was ultimately shackled by the courts as unconstitutional in a democracy, but not surprisingly, the over reach was whole-heartedly supported by the majority of Trump supporters.
With a jaded eye, Trump and his supporters were poised to deconstruct his final obstacle, the Free Press or Media.
5. By-Pass and Denigrate the Press
In most totalitarian models, the press is a thorn in the side because allowing free speech and inviting public input takes absolute power away from authoritarian leaders who wish to rule absolutely and without question.
As U.S. President #3 Thomas Jefferson once wrote: “The only security of all is in a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted, when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure.”
Not a student of Jeffersonian democracy, Trump launched headlong into an open war with the press, which literally began on day one.
He questioned crowd estimates at his inaugural address after the New York Times sent a picture over social media that compared his crowds to that of previous President Barack Obama.
Despite what appeared apparent to the eye, Trump not only challenged the picture as fake and doctored, but began his push to denigrate the press at every turn.
He hired former White House Easter Bunny Sean Spicer as his press secretary and instructed he and former campaign chairperson Kellyanne Conway to set a combative tone that included the creation of “Alt Facts,” which were somehow supposed to be the truth, but different from those offered by the free press.
Trump then continued his social media feed via Twitter and began dispensing his version of truth – 140 characters at a time, from his @realDonaldTrump feed. Tweeting about any and everything that came to mind as he had as a civilian, Trump sought to replace the press as irrelevant by explaining his methods as more direct than the media.
A violation of Constitutional protocol, by ignoring the belittling the Fourth Estate, Trump allowed the concept that the media was an enemy of the public, which was misstating the truth because he is a conservative and the media is run by liberals.
This drum beat, taken seriously by many who already supported him and do not support the press, is a daily and deliberate assault on fundamental American values and a new take on the propaganda machines of past dictators.
The King is Dead, Long Live the King
In the end, people forget Hitler’s Reich replaced a fully functional democratic government that was replaced a monarchy.
It’s a point we can only hope more people remember as Citizen Trump continues to unfurl his agenda.
Communists and the Facists don’t force their influence on the people, the basic tools for those ideology are present, it is a conscious effort to either accept or deflect it. The people have the power to dictate change in a democratic society.
So for all of those who voted us into this reality, thank you! You’ve given us our first winner of the Boom Bap Radio Douchey McDouche Bag Award for 2017.
And for you Mr. President, please enjoy your new gold encrusted douche bag, you narcissistic, insecure, strong man government loving – douche!