Each month we at Boom Bap Radio will bestow "The Douchey McDouche Bag" award on the biggest dickheads in the news. This category is not limited to politicians or entertainers or even athletes, there's room for everyone on this bench.
However, each month one person stands out as the absolute winner of our coveted prize.
The award is based on the name I gave a menial worker from a big box department store, who insisted that my item was no longer in stock without looking. This douche actually made me order the item online and had a whole five-minute explanation of why the product was not available days after Christmas. Evidently it was shipped back to some remote warehouse over the hills and far, far away.
Imagine my surprise when about an hour later, while walking to the other end of the store, I found piles of my item, neatly stacked and very much available.
So, this one goes out to that collared shirt wonder, who obviously knew nothing, but before he knew a whole friggin' lot “Douche Bag!!" Hey dickwad - this award Â goes out to you - Douche!!!
The May 2016 Douchey McDouche Bag Award
By the time the U.S. Presidential primaries reached the month of May 2016 several things that had never been seen before became campaign main stays.
Hillary Clinton’s colorful pantsuits and lingering scandals mixed with Donald Trump’s xenophobic and divisive statements creating a mosh pit that included almost daily protestors and supporters openly fighting in the streets. These things all became the norm in recurring media loops as the frontrunners from both parties crept towards the election of the next American President.
Be it against a political outsider or a fellow Republican on the Conservative side, protestors against candidate Trump were fair game for pot shots, beatings and arrests from supporters of the Billionaire.
On the Liberal side, there was no end to what a Bernie Sanders’ supporter could do to de-fame leading candidate and Democratic presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton. Mean-spirited floats and signs were put up. Ads were taken out and in the end, both factions in the Democratic Party were allowed not only to passionately make their point, but to also choose the arena option and get all Medieval on a bitch.
At first we weren’t surprised at the ad hoc violence that popped up at the brown-shirted rallies held by Fuhrer Trump and his homogenous supporters. It seems hate-speak and xenophobia by supporters of the television star was embraced as not being politically correct.
Disturbingly, the Ku Klux Klan, White Supremacists and Confederate loyalists found a front man and a safe haven to publicly spew their hateful messages in Trump.
Equally alarming as the almost daily displays of violence at Trump rallies, was the wanton disrespect and total disillusionment seen at every rally from the Left where supporters vilified the former First Lady as an evil shill of the status quo instead of a historical pioneer from the incumbent political party.
In the end, we learned what many have learned.
Americans are violent S.O.B.’s and perhaps the fault for these reprehensible acts lay not in the stars, but in ourselves.
The shameful displays of violence and disrespect from the American public on all sides of the aisles certainly got our attention and that’s why for the month of May 2016 voters behaving badly took the top spot and were named the Douchey McDouche Bags for the month.
Nazi’s and Klansmen and White Trash – Oh My
When Trump supporters first began taking pokes at anti-Trump protestors, there was a field of Conservative candidates filling out the ranks and the Donald was seen as this laughable side-show in an inevitable showdown between the GOP candidate for President and Hillary Clinton.
By the time March 2016 rolled around, the situation began to disintegrate and was no longer a laughing matter.
Trump triumphed over Conservative darlings like: Jeb Bush, Ben Carson and Chris Christie and appeared to be beating a path to the GOP candidacy. As more and more candidates disappeared, so did the normal political “couth-iness” that allows peaceable assemblies to be a staple of the American political process.
Just two months later the candidate dwindle continued inside the Bubble and Trump supporters de-evolved into feral crowds of shouting hooligans in search of a putsch or at least a beer hall. In these crowds, the appearance of the occasional Muslim, Liberal, African-American, woman or Latino was red meat or better yet, cannon-fodder, for angry supporters who roundly extracted all who looked or thought differently with a bit of a punch or kick.
A March Trump rally in Chicago had to be cancelled for the safety of the tens of thousands due to attend his event at the University Illinois’ Chicago Pavilion and suddenly we were in unchartered territory.
Organized protestors against Trump gathered in the thousands to protest the anti- Muslim and anti-immigration candidate. Meanwhile, Trump-backers prepared for the battle, making for a standoff outside the pavilion that could have oozed into the rally and accented the catchy putdowns of the controversial candidate.
After a May win in the GOP primary for the State of Washington, Trump supporters and protestors clashed violently in New Mexico where windows were smashed and rocks were thrown at police.
Sure Trump supporters are allowed to defend themselves, but the exhibition of violence displayed in Albuquerque, was palpable. Protestors smashed the doors to the convention center where Trump was speaking, lit fires and waved Mexican flags all enroute to responding to the many disrespectful things the candidate spewed in the past.
It was soon time for a return to California where, back in April, a Trump rally was almost cancelled due to violence between supporters and protestors.
By the time we began tabulating for douchiness, the king of the comb-over was watching his supporters lose their collective heads in repeated violent acts at his rallies.
Too arrogant to fail, Trump doubled-down and never addressed the disturbing trend or his relationship to the mayhem – like the douche bag we thought he was.
Ironically, on the other side of the aisle, the behavior of supporters was not much better.
We once wondered what happened to the Occupy Wall Street people?
The short answer is they became this year’s Bernie Sanders’ supporters.
Idealistic, with a dash of naivety, most of the Bernie supporters ranged from 18 to their mid-30’s and reminded us older, dyed-in-the-wool Obama supporters of our age and place in the Liberal diaspora, which whether we want to admit it, was a little further to the right than we’d like.
Angry at the status quo and at the lack of palpable change among America’s middle class, Bernie supporters fought through the Democratic campaign for President with ferocity and resolve when it came to going against presumptive candidate Hillary Clinton.
Vocal and undaunted by the odds, Sanders’ supporters fueled the dreams of Conservatives, who hoped the rift in their party was equal to the gap in the Democratic Party. In May hopes became closer to reality as time began running out on selecting President Obama’s successor.
During that time, every event turned into a pitch battle between the two candidates.
In fact, Sanders supporters were often identified as “political revolutionaries,” fighting to change the economy, the system of higher education, the banking system and Wall Street, while Clinton supporters were seen as defenders of the status quo.
Matters came to a head when the Democratic movement hit landfall at the Nevada Democratic Convention.
The credentials of more than 50 Sanders’ supporters were openly questioned and high-ranking Clinton supporters were literally shouted down at the event, just months before the anticipated Democratic National Convention (DNC) in Philadelphia.
Bernie supporters watched the Sanders campaign grind to a predictable halt, despite being largely run by real grass roots supporters who kicked in a mere $27.50 on Facebook. Those same supporters, who were largely Democrats under Obama, morphed into this group of douche bags, who often resembled the petty, contrary adolescent who would take their ball and go home rather than lose at the playground or in the final days of May.
Many proclaimed they would never vote for Hillary Clinton, while others looked to third party choices like Green Party candidate Jill Stein, Libertarian Gary Johnson, or worse yet, some threatened to vote for Donald Trump as a way to scorch the earth in their displeasure â€“ it was a very bad time
However, their angst and fascination with change on the edge of near anarchy, wasn’t new.
It’s the same group who cheered “Arab Spring,” and made sure we knew that Black Lives Mattered as armed and unarmed Black men were shot by police in the street. Neither seemed to have a coherent plan for what happened after the revolution and again that abhorrent concept of change from within the system seemed like a better option than simply bitching and moaning.
The kids were generally all right, but the May douche rebellion almost got so far out of hand that the losers were as much a part of the story as the winners.
When Hip Hop Happens
While many took to the streets to engage in arm-to-arm combat for this year’s election, others took to the studio and stage.
Above the increasingly noisy chants of the “Never Trump” and the “Never Hillary” crowd, was the sonic boom of Hip Hop and Punk, which joined up proper again, just like it was 1977.
They say every hero needs theme music, well this movement essentially happened to earn its own soundtrack.
Alarmed by the media’s reckless use of his former band’s name to define the youthful exuberance of protest and angst during this year’s election, groundbreaking guitar God Tom Morello voted to rage against the machine and by forming Prophets of Rage.
The prophets of who?
We’re talking about the brand spanking new Hip Hop/Rock super group made up of Legendary MC’s Chuck D from Public Enemy and, B-Real from Cypress Hill. Rage Against the Machine/Audioslave’s Morello and its rhythm section, Tim Commerford and Brad Wilk, rounded out the new act and PE maestro DJ Lord was the literal cherry on top.
The musical revolution began around mid-month when Rage Against the Machine sent out a tweet that directed fans to a mysterious site: ProphetsOfRage.com. Once on the site, a countdown clock appeared set with an end date of May 31, 2016.
Images of posters that read: Prophets of Rage also linked to the site and the phrase â€œClear the way for the Prophets of Rage. “The Party’s Over Summer 2016.”
Soon rumors of a protest concert outside the Republican National Convention in Chicago began to float about and it was confirmed, Prophets were ready to rage. Inspired by the 1988 Public Enemy track from “It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us All Back,” the revolutionary group was spawned from the minutia of the current Presidential election.
“We’re an elite task force of revolutionary musicians determined to confront this mountain of election year bullshit, and confront it head-on with Marshall stacks blazing,” Morello said in Rolling Stone magazine.
Since debuting in May, Prophets have toured the country as part of its “Make America Rage Again” tour. To put it simply we look to B-Real for his view of the band’s mission.
“We’re done with the lies that have been told to us for our votes,” said the legendary front-man.
At least something good came from all the mis-directed energy from this year’s election.
In the end, we celebrate the passionate and hands-on approach of protestors and supporters for both camps, but give a giant friggin’ Boo to the ad hoc violence associated with opposing the obnoxious views of the Trump campaign and the maybe too non-revolutionary din of the Clinton campaign.
Where this could have been a watershed moment for free democracy and the use of our first amendment rights or an opportunity for the opposing extremes of the political diaspora to have a conversation â€“ it became neither.
Nope, this month we instead “celebrate” the douche bags among us who somehow took the primary season as a way to riot and beat each other senseless.
Hey American public!
Yeah, you young folks. We’re not peeved at the smell of teen spirit in the air, but your violent attitudes we can do without. In fact, it needs a douche.
Thanks for not allowing us to delude ourselves to blaspheme any specific group, because in the end, there was more than enough blame to go around, “And we’re all covered in it,” to quote Denzel Washington from the movie Glory.
You, or should I say “we” are the recipients of our patented monthly prize: “The Douchey McDouche Bag Award.”
So put your dukes in the air, you violent, prejudice, petty douche bags! You actually did win something – our patented award.
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