Each month we at Boom Bap Radio will bestow the award of “The Douchey McDouche Bag” award on the biggest dickheads in the news. This category is not limited to politicians or entertainers or even athletes – there’s room for everyone on this bench.
However, each month one person stands out as the absolute winner of our coveted prize.
The award is based on the name I gave a menial worker from a big box department store, who insisted that my item was no longer in stock without looking. This douche actually made me order the item online and had a whole five minute explanation of why the product was not available days after Christmas. Evidently it was shipped back to some remote warehouse – over the hills and far, far away.
Imagine my surprise when about an hour later –while walking to the other end of the store I found piles of my item, neatly stacked and very much available.
So this one goes out to that collared shirt wonder, who obviously knew nothing, but before he knew a whole friggin’ lot –Douche Bag!! Hey dickwad - this award goes out to you – You Douche!!!
The July 2011 Douchey McDouche Bag Award
For the month of July we didn’t have to look too far or hard to find our douche bag winner.
We actually managed to honor the 289-plus members of the GOP controlled US House of Representatives in this installment.
Thanks douche bags for your idiotic stance on the Debt Ceiling and for jeopardizing the nation’s ability to borrow all in the name of partisan politics.
Led by the likes of newcomer Rep. Michelle Bachmann and House Majority leader John Boehner, aka the Weeper of the House, you’ve showed the world what a bunch of rich, bratty, repressed, cock-blockers you all can be!
Now I’m no economist, but since it was first mentioned by President Obama, the raising of the nation’s Debt Ceiling has gone from obscure political minutia to the ultimate political football.
Currently set at $14.29 trillion, it appears that only the wealthy are not impacted by the GOP’s, “We’re not going to raise the debt ceiling,” stance.
Without an increase, the nation’s poorest and most vulnerable citizens would have to suffer more cuts in social programs, the dollar would be devalued and the world economy, which uses the dollar as its central reserve currency, would also take a hit – woo hoo!!!
Making Douchey history:
The Debt Ceiling was raised repeatedly during World War II, once every year from 1941 to 1945. In the years immediately following the war, the ceiling was actually lowered.
However, according to the CRS report, since 1962, Congress voted through 74 separate measures to raise the debt ceiling. In fact, this is the first time in American history that the raising of the Debt Ceiling has been a point of negotiation.
So with the vote on the Ceiling pending, on this last day of July and the deadline for a world changing event looming, we have named all of the obstructionists in the 112th Congress as The Boom Bap Radio Douchey McDouche Bag Award Winners for July 2011.
While children, babies and a cool breeze, may make Cry-Baby John weepy, it’s his insistence on holding the country hostage in order to cater to his right-wing, Tea Party colleagues that makes all of us cry.
So quit your whining and vote already – you friggin’ douche bags!