Sometimes Douching is Not Enough

Each month we at Boom Bap Radio will bestow "The Douchey McDouche Bag" award on the biggest dickheads in the news. This category is not limited to politicians or entertainers or even athletes, there's room for everyone on this bench.

However, each month one person stands out as the absolute winner of our coveted prize.

The award is based on the name I gave a menial worker from a big box department store, who insisted that my item was no longer in stock without looking. This douche actually made me order the item online and had a whole five-minute explanation of why the product was not available days after Christmas. Evidently it was shipped back to some remote warehouse over the hills and far, far away.

Imagine my surprise when about an hour later, while walking to the other end of the store, I found piles of my item, neatly stacked and very much available.

So, this one goes out to that collared shirt wonder, who obviously knew nothing, but before he knew a whole friggin' lot “Douche Bag!!" Hey dickwad - this award  goes out to you - Douche!!!

The February 2012 Douchey McDouche Bag Winner

Every month we crown a new loser in our Douchey McDouche Bag Award column, but few realize the importance of the honor.

As news and media move faster than ever and more seamlessly than ever, it’s vitally important for someone to stop the news flow for a second to reflect on the moment when a jerk-off comes forward and shows themselves to be a sheer, unadulterated “asshole” for the sake of just being one.

In our view a true Douche Bag is someone who, not only knows better, but despite their knowledge, does something so frighteningly selfish and despicable that we just cannot give it a pass.

Our past winners have been an assortment of politicians, collegiate coaches, law enforcement officials, but this month we crown our first murderer – posthumously.

Although a small story in the news, the exploits of one Josh Powell, a 36-year-old douche from the State of Washington, cannot be overlooked or forgotten. Powell worked overtime to craft a scenario that would allow him to kill himself and his two sons in a fiery blast, just moments after they were dropped off for their supervised visit.

According to published reports, Powell, had been a suspect in the disappearance of his wife since 2009. His wife Susan, whose remains were never found, was last seen by Powell during a spontaneous midnight camping trip the family embarked upon in the Utah desert.

His sons, then 4 and 2, respectively, could remember little from the trip and Powell, despite the efforts of law enforcement, was never proven to have done anything wrong to his missing wife.

After their Mom’s disappearance, the boys lived with Powell and his father, Steven, in the state of Washington. Steven Powell later alleged that he and his daughter-in-law had a secret affair.

He even wrote a song about wanna hear it? Here it go…um – not on this blog buddy.

During a 2011 search of the home police found child pornography on the father’s computer and he was arrested and jailed.  Josh Powell, ultimately lost custody of his two boys to his in-laws, but had been granted supervised visits.  In December 2011 Josh Powell was also ordered to undergo psychosexual evaluation in order to possibly regain custody.

Flashforward to 2012:

Reports surfaced that his children were starting to remember things about that moonlight camping trip. They evidently drew pictures that referenced Mommy being in the trunk and his missing wife’s parents were not amused. Word of the possible memories then hit the news and went global.

Shortly thereafter Josh    Powell mysteriously donated all the boy’s toys to charity and allegedly rented an abandoned house in Pierce County Washington in order to gain supervised visits. Then on a fateful Sunday afternoon he welcomed his children in the house and slammed the door in the face of their Child Protective Services worker.

The worker called authorities after smelling gasoline emanating from the home, but was too late. Police forensics found that Powell then attacked his sons with a hatchet and set the house on fire – killing himself and murdering the little boys.

While “coward,” would be the best description, it doesn’t quite seem to capture the utter reprehensible nature of this ghoul.

If Powell shows us anything, it’s that sometimes when it comes to news, you have to take the advice of Ferris Bueller and stop and take inventory every once in a while, or you’ll miss something.

We here at Boom Bap Radio make it our mission to stop the bus for our audience at least once a month and point out those who should perpetually hang their heads in shame. The politicians, the nasty coaches, the faux law enforcers and yes, even monsters.

For here, even though you may be yesterday’s news, to us you are just a dripping, smelly, oozing, evil douche bag – who we must acknowledge as a member of our Hall of Shame.

So here’s to you Washington State child murderer and suspected wife murderer – you’re the Boom Bap Radio Douchey McDouche Bag Award winner for February 2012.

Hell is too good of a place for you, but we really hope you’re there and still burning.

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Masta Talka

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