Who’s Yo Mammie?


Because life is a game and racism is all in the heads of those of whom it is perpetuated against, every once in while you have to reach for your trump – the Race Card.

Yeah, we know, slavery was 150-years ago and the Civil Rights movement was half a century ago. Certainly any talk of racism in the Age of Obama is just some veiled attempt to stir up trouble in paradise, or is that utopia.

So stop stirring up our good blacks and get over it, racism is so over.

Only a troublemaker plays the Race Card when they should be singing Kumbaya into the night. So when the deck is stacked against you, play your trump - it's the only shot you've got!

The Rachel Dolezal Situation

auntjemima myarudolphrachel

In June 2015 a small story, that seemed like it was not worth the ink of which it was printed, poked its curly head out of the state of Washington and somehow we were again drawn into a “sitch” in post-racial America.

The story revolved around a fairly inconsequential president of the NAACP in Spokane, WA, named Rachel Dolezal. Where we’d be ready to pin a tale of Tom on the donkey under normal circumstances, we were instead given pause.

Ms. Dolezal, a prominent figure in the Civil Rights movement in Washington State gave the movement a jolt when it was learned, that despite her stances against inequality, her tan, frizzy extensions and a degree from HBCU Howard University, baby ain’t Black.

In fact, a faux Black father, a marriage to a brotha, adopted black siblings and children, still just wasn’t enough for Rachel.

Before it was all over Ms. Dolezal needed to identify as being Black so badly, that she dropped her very White biological parents, and began donning the 21st Century version of burnt cork to cover her snow white tan and slapped an Afro wig on her noggin to hide her golden locks.

So why are we so upset?

It’s one thing to be down, but when a Black-cent is in play and a White woman masquerades as a Black woman to run a branch of the pre-eminent Civil Rights organization because she feels some kind of way, we shuffle the deck we’re dealt and we play “The Race Card.”

Faster than you can say: “Imitation of Llfe” – our resident Pinkie, played by Rachel Dolezal in this episode of our game, had somehow left Howard University, divorced her husband  and travelled westward to Spokane, Washington to pull off the best racial con job since Amos and Andy.

Lyin’ Azz B

To hear Rachel tell it, because she’d been fond of African-American culture since a child and learned about African history, why shouldn’t she be perceived as such?

However, history would dictate that in this case, the “one drop rule”racheldolezalwhite does apply and simply put, without that one drop, them just some ordinary crackers.

Further, are we being too harsh to call someone who has tried to champion the cause and happens to be white, a “con” just because she purposely created a whole alternate reality for the public and tricked her way into a position of power in the Black community?

What else would you call someone who purposely spray tanned herself each day, covered her wispy locks with kinky hair extensions and in reality seemed to turn herself into the fictitious baby of a Black daddy for shits and giggles.

Dolezal conceded to MSNBC reporter Melissa Harris–Perry and later to the network’s Today Show, that she wasn’t putting on black face or conning her way to the top by, “passing” but instead, only identifying with a culture she had come to adopt.

Afterall, she’d been the mother of two Black men and obviously married a Black man and in her mind, ip so facto, considered herself a sistah?

She also admitted that she never actually told media over the years that she was African-American, but she had only failed to correct them when they assumed and stated that she was Black or part Black.

Hold Up Wait A MInute

Rachel was born to two White parents, Larry and Ruthanne Dolezal in 1977 in the Montana. Described as “chubby,” Rachel soon turned into a toe-headed, freckle-face, blue eyed baby, the pride of her Swedish grandmother.

When the Dolezal’s adopted four, African-American and bi-racial children, young Rachel began to identify with African culture.

In the mid-90’s she was an undergraduate at Belhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi to be a part of its community based racial reconciliation program.  After Dolezal graduated from the private Christian college in Mississippi she began the next chapter of her tale.

When she married Kevin Moore in 2000, Dolezal looked as she had for much of her life, but vastly different from the sultry redbone, we’d been shown for the last five years.

She attended Howard University as graduate student and hoped to land a part time teaching position, of which she was denied.

In 2002, while obtaining her Master’s degree at Howard University, Dolezal sued the HBCU for discriminating against her because she was white and pregnant. Filed with her married name of “Rachel Moore,” she said the loss of tuition and a teaching position at Howard were due to her race – which was White.


As her marriage crumbled, Dolezal became entwined in a bitter divorce that included claims she was forced to make sex tapes. She filed for sole custody of her son and split with her husband in 2004. She soon left the marital home in Idaho and moved west.

Her parents said Dolezal began to “disguise” her racial identity around 2006 or 2007 when she formally cut ties with her parents.

In 2008 Dolezal returned to a job at the Human Rights Education Institute in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, where she had previously worked as a Black woman.

Dolezal left the post in Idaho after making multiple reports to police about racial threats against her and her family. Although no arrests were made, many questioned the validity of the reports, including those at the Institute.

When Dolezal moved to Washington, she began working as a part time professor of Africana Studies at Eastern Washington University and later became president of the Spokane NAACP and chair of the Police ombudsman oversight commission.

Once in place, Dolezal even concocted a imaginary Black daddy.

Identified as Albert Wilkerson, Dolezal said she met the man in Idaho and just connected with him on a very “intimate family level.”

She addressed that lie during the “Today” interview and unblinkingly explained the deception, stating: “Albert Wilkerson is my dad. Any man can be a father, not every man can be a dad.”

Her story began to fall apart like a tumbling tumble weave just weeks before when her parents appeared on the same show after being approached about their daughter’s racial identity by a local newspaper.

The Dolezal’s, who are White, told a tale of an ambitious child who craved knowledge and identified with African-Americans at an early age. Dolezal’s adopted brothers, who were truly Black, soon joined in during the media storm and begged their 37-year-old sibling to finally come clean.

Most question the need for the charade in the first place.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People was formed early last century by a coalition of White liberals and Black activists. In fact, two white Jewish brothers, Joel and Arthur Spingarn served as top officers of the organization along with the likes of W.E.B. DuBois, from 1913 to 1965.

After her parents went public, Dolezal spent the next few days doing damage control and denying her racial identity.

However, once she realized the jig was up, she resigned her post as President of the Spokane NAACP and her position as head of that city’s Police Oversight Commission following allegations of disrespectful behavior and deceit.

She then threw herself on the mercy of the public court by consenting to be interviewed by Harris-Perry and disappeared.

I’m sure her tanning salon and hairdresser are really pissed.

In the end, the oddest and most ironic part of the story is, we shouldn’t be too peeved at all of those scores of Black folks who were conned by Rachel’s Black dress up party.

Afterall, if humankind descended from its original ancestors in Africa and race doesn’t really exist, it shouldn’t be so surprising that Rachel could easily appear Black. She, like everyone else on the Earth, are all the descendants of Mother Africa.

That being said, pretending to be Black just to achieve a higher station in life is not only dishonest, it’s larceny with which only the directors of Soul Man could identify, but certainly not something to be lauded.

Rachel Dolezal’s identity crisis and the Black community’s role in it was not much different than being ripped off while laying a hand of a trick-assed card game like “Three Card Monte.”  You intend to win in a game that seems too easy to lose, but in the end you go home with nothing but regret.

As for Rachel, who knew enough about Black history to know better, shame on you!  She knew she could have successfully championed those same civil and human rights causes from behind blue eyes.

Be she, a grifter or a sick delusional person, Rachel Dolezal, in this hand of The Race card, your bluff got called and you cashed out. Thanks for playing, snowflake.

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